Some
frequently asked questions about marriage
at St. Paul's
1.
I am a member of St. Paul’s
and I would like to be married here.
How may that be arranged?
Set up an appointment with one of the clergy as far ahead of the
proposed date as possible, and in no case less than one month before.
If either person has been divorced the initial appointment should
be at least three months before the wedding date. After you have
made an appointment with one of the clergy, the parish secretary
will tentatively reserve a date for you.
2.
Is counseling required?
Yes. From four to six hour-long sessions are required. Most of these
counseling sessions will be conducted by a professional marriage
and family therapist and will explore the couple’s readiness
for marriage and their expectations regarding it. One or two sessions
will present the church’s understanding of marriage as a sacrament.
These sessions will be conducted by the clergy or staff of the parish.
All couples are required to sign a “Declaration of Intent” that
pledges their commitment to lifelong marriage. There will be a final
session with the clergy for planning the wedding ceremony.
3.
Are there special requirements when
marriage after divorce is sought?
Yes.
a. At least six sessions with a professional marriage and family
therapist are required, and these sessions must be scheduled so that
they can be concluded, and a report made by the counselor to the
clergy, at least three months prior to the wedding date. This will
allow the clergy to make the requisite application to the Bishop
for permission to perform the marriage. It is important to keep in
mind that the Bishop’s consent is not automatic.
b. The report to the Bishop includes an assessment of the pastoral
relationship between the couple and the priest. Hence it will be
necessary for the couple to be known well to the clergy by being
involved in the life and worship of the parish.
4.
I am not a member of St. Paul’s
but would like to have my wedding
here.
Is that possible?
Yes, if there are sufficiently weighty pastoral reasons for this
to happen. It will be important for you to discuss your situation
with one of the clergy well in advance of your proposed wedding date,
and to make sure that there is sufficient time for the required counseling.
Because marriage, like the other sacraments, assumes that there is
a supportive Christian community within which the sacrament is administered,
it will be important for the couple to establish as close a relationship
with the parish and clergy as possible.
5. Are there fees involved?
Yes, effective January 1, 2004, the Vestry has established a Wedding
fee schedule for the various services and staff offered. For details
of those fees, you may either call the church office or download
the "About Marriage at St. Paul's" document in PDF format
(see above).
Grace and blessings to you as you prepare for your life together
as a couple.
We look forward to speaking with you in person about your hopes and
plans.
--The Rev. Mary Anne Osborn, Associate Rector
--The Rev. Alice Mindrum, Assistant Rector
--The Rev. Bennett A. Brockman, Rector
